UNDERSTANDING HIMSELF

Somewhere around the end of primary school, the child starts understanding himself better. Not only does he have a fairly food appraisal of himself, he is able to evaluate what others think of him. This can be easily observed by a concerned parent. Sometimes the child comes home fairly dejected and feeling wretched. If the parent hugs him and asks him what the matter is he may burst out with “I am not good, I never get high ranks, I never get selected in any competitions or in any school programmes.” On such occasions when children feel very low, if the parents are warm and considerate, the child will overcome this temporary sadness. Give your child examples of all the great people who were not successful in their childhood. The “real self” is the image that the child has about himself based on the actual skills, virtues and shortcomings that he has realized he his in everyday life, such as that he can fight with A but not with B. When children are not happy about their seal self, they secretly start wishing that they had many superior qualities. They want to stand first in their class, to be chosen as prefects and to excel at games. This is called the “ideal” self-image. Many children strive hard to reach this desired ideal. Hard work and sincere effort will help them approach it. However, if this ideal self image is unrealistic and if they just do not have the required potential. They fail to attain their ideal image. They strive harder and when they fail they form a negative self image- “I am good for nothing.”