EATING DISORDERS

A common cause of parental concern is under-eating. Sometimes children refuse to drink milk and don’t eat food at regular hours. Multiple food dislikes are also common. Eating problems are not unusual, 25-35 percent of children have them. Some other common problems reported by mothers are: bizarre food habits, prolonged dependence on finely mashed food, difficulty or delay in swallowing, delay in self-feeding and eating inedible stuffs like mud, dirt and plaster from the walls. These problems could be caused by mismanagement in the home, an obstruction in the throat or other medical abnormalities. For normal children, mismanagement alone is often the main cause of many problems. Inadequate intake of basic nutrients could be the cause of eating mud or plaster and licking of walls. Difficulty in chewing and sucking or delay in swallowing could be due to constitutional reasons. And there could be problems due to feeding patterns governed by the specific family practices such as not giving solid food which is tough to chew or always feeding freshly cooked food with less spices. Regular feeding habits must be introduced in very early childhood. There are several reasons why children refuse food. If they are weaned from liquid to solid food after the age of twelve to eighteen months, they tend to resist solid food. Often mothers feel tired of feeding and find it easier to give milk. This works in two ways: the child gets into the habit of satisfying his hunger by easy infantile sucking, and the mother if relieved to the effort required to feed her child. Similarly, self-feeding is avoided by some parents so as to finish feeding faster and to avoid the cleaning up of the mess later. Poor intake, that is eating less than what the parent wishes, could be due to wrong expectations. Often it is due to emotional factors like the child being scolded repeatedly or threatened, making eating more a chore than a pleasure. If the food is too spice, children refuse to eat.

BIRTH ORDER AND GENDER

Studies have revealed that first-born and only children are usually more responsible and confident, and that the youngest in family tends to be slightly selfish but also more relaxed. It is also true that at the same age, girls tend to be more assured and graceful, assuming that most modern parents bring up boys and girls as equals. But researchers have found that parents do discriminate between children of same sex or of different sexes and that has an impact on the child’s self-image and personality. The first-born is invariable treated with greater strictness, and with greater expectations. Many parents have confided in me that if they had a second chance they would not commit the same mistakes in bringing up their first-born. Parental strictness and expectations may result in their first-born being more responsible but sometimes withdrawn. The second or the youngest is often pampered and since the parental economic position and attitudes have changed the child is brought up more amicable, resulting in a personality which is more demanding and which possesses greater self esteem. Whit a single child, either of the two parallel personality types may emerge-self –assured and contented or lonely and seeking company. In India, girls are often treated differently. They receive frequent messages that they should be submissive and willing to sacrifice. Most mothers love their daughters as much as they do the sons but are more strict and controlling with girls. Fathers on the other hand are more soft and warm towards their daughters than towards their sons.

‘GOOD ME’ AND ‘BAD ME’

The opinion, the child develops about himself in response to the encouraging or adverse comments or reactions of his parents, begins taking shape as early as the second year. Self-image is not something that was present in the child at the time of birth. It is acquired during the child’s interactions with parents and other members of the family. When you give your child plenty of messages which convey that you love him and he is a good child, he starts believing he is good. The child associates all your positive messages with his immediate behavior and assumes that he must behave in that manner to make you happy and to feel good about himself. Similarly, when he feels that you do not approve his certain behaviors, he learns that it was bad of him to act in that way. With repeated reinforcement of positive and negative messages for the right and wrong behaviors, the child develops an image or concept about himself. Remember, there should be consistency in parental treatment.

THE GROWTH OF SELF IMAGE

Self-image is the opinion - the child holds about himself, which begins to develop as soon as the child learns to think and remember. Often it is unrealistic and exaggerated because the child has not yet encountered many disappointments. A little boy may say, “I am a Superman, I can jump from anywhere.” While another boy when invited by his father to jump may say, “No Daddy, I can’t. You hold me.” The first child has an unrealistic but positive self-image while the second child has a realistic but negative self-image, which is not unnatural. In fact it is present in all individuals to a certain extent. Self-image develops slowly and like all childhood occurrences, keeps changing according to the messages, pleasant or sad, encouraging or demoralizing, that the child receives from parents and other life experiences. In normal peoples, it is fairly well established by early adulthood. Self-image is the pattern of belief that a child or a grown-up person has about himself. It includes all his assets, shortcomings, fears, pleasures, strengths and weaknesses, his looks, mental abilities, physical capacities, and even his family status. There is no end to this list of traits.

LATE CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE

The late childhood years are marked by physiological revolution - genital maturity and the emergence of sexual impulses. This inner turmoil can be resolved only by gaining recognition and support from those around. Adolescence involves overcoming the dependence of childhood and getting ready to face the demands of the adulthood. The crucial problem at this stage is the identity crisis. The growing child is now vulnerable to ideologies that offer the prospect of social conformity and a sanctioned sense of direction. Either they are rigid, sinister doctrine (such as terrorist or militant rebel groups) or relatively benevolent social movements. Adults must take the responsibility of seeing that the adolescent does not fall into the trap of role confusion but instead develops a positive sense of identity which becomes a fine quality - called fidelity. That is, the ability to sustain loyalties pledged freely despite the inevitable contradictions of value systems. Since not even the best of parents behave ideally on all occasions, every child’s personality includes some degree of contradictions - which is assumed to be natural.

“The growing child in his teens, is vulnerable to ideologies that offer the prospect of conformity and a sanctioned sense of direction - either they are rigid, sinister doctrines of terrorist groups or
the benevolent social movements.”